篡改了的回憶

你，可曾篡改回憶？像兒時的回億．．．一只小鳥，一件玩具．．．回憶，可是真實的嗎？

我曾經憶起兒時，媽媽餵我吃粥，魚骨卡在喉嚨裡那股痛楚。我還小，沒學會說話，也沒法告訴別人，我感到痛。長大了以後，我一直懷疑，是不是回憶哄騙了我？是不是回憶被篡改了？

可是，每當我吃魚時，總驚覺那痛苦還在。不僅是喉嚨被卡住了，還有無法表達言語時，感到生存的可怖。

那段回憶是真實的嗎？我不相信。怎麼會呢？難道我不會用別的方法表達自己嗎？我指著雪櫃上的水壼，不就是說「我渴了」嗎？難道我不會指著喉嚨，讓媽媽知道魚骨卡在裡面嗎？

一定是腦袋趁我不留意的時候，偷偷篡改了回憶。我抬頭，望見巍峨的回憶，像嚴肅的教科書，宣稱它的神聖。回憶，變成了牆的一部分，擋住了前路。我無力地抗衡，敲擊這堵牆。

漸漸，我放棄了抵抗。我相信，這段回憶，原本一直存在。不管荒誕與否，虛偽與否，都是我的回憶，不曾篡改。

我是沉默的孩子。回憶，一再重覆它的潛台詞。終於，我吐出了如霧靄的說話：我，是沉默的；我，無法表達言語。

我在游，仿彿要抵達彼岸，卻沉溺。下沉，卻抬起頭來，看著水裡的光線，和觸不到的天空。放棄，讓回憶主宰言語的表述，仿如不可侵犯的權威。

如果有一天，我向天空大聲說：回憶在說謊！我不是沉默的，無法表達自己的孩子！那麼，這一場仗，就是勝利了。

然而，意識的門給關上了。我陷沒一片漆黑之中。

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game

game: http://personaldna.com/

 

You are a Concerned Artist.

http://personaldna.com/h/?k=JaDsGBQJrasCf&t=&la=false

personalDNA

about you

You are an Artist

  • Your appreciation of beauty, ability to think abstractly, and innovativeness make you an ARTIST.

  • Never one to be tied to a particular way of doing things, you let your imagination guide you in discovering different possibilities.

  • You would rather seek out new experiences than stick to your everyday habits, taking in as much of the world as possible.

  • Your eye for beauty and your willingness to consider different perspectives make your creative efforts interesting—even though you may not realize this yourself.

  • You prefer to think about things before voicing your opinion, considering a wide, diverse range of options.

  • While there are forms and styles that you prefer, you tend to keep an open mind when it comes to your artistic preferences.

  • You are curious about things, interested in the “why" more than the “how.”

  • You have an active imagination that leads you express yourself in a distinct way.

  • You are balanced in your approach to problem-solving, not letting your emotions hold you up.

  • You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.

  • You tend to believe that things happen for a reason, and that not everything is under our control.

    • If you want to be different:

  • Be more open to risks in your creative efforts, and don’t be quick to dismiss the praise of others.

  • Think about how attention to detail may help you be more sure of yourself.

    • how you relate to others

    You are Concerned

  • Your understanding of others’ emotions, your sense of right and wrong, and your skeptical nature make you CONCERNED.

  • Your observations of your environment, in concert with your clearly defined worldview, leads you to be aware of the feelings of others.

  • Because you can read people well, and because you can understand their feelings, you are often bothered by others’ insensitive behavior.

  • While you appreciate others’ emotional nature, you don’t think their emotional concerns should take precedence over their obligations to society.

  • You prefer to be in smaller groups, as big groups can occasionally get out of hand.

  • Order and structure are somewhat important to you—you believe that people’s feelings are better protected when others are respectful and follow certain societal guidelines.

  • You tend to share your feelings with a few individuals who are close with you, but otherwise you are a somewhat private person.

  • You are balanced in your approach to problem-solving, not letting your emotions hold you up.

  • You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.

  • You tend to believe that things happen for a reason, and that not everything is under our control.

    • If you want to be different:

  • Let your caring nature allow you to put more trust in people in general—you can have more faith in them without losing your valuable skepticism.

    •  

    My Personal Dna Report

    我個BLOG毁容之案事重組

    昨日一陣驚嚇之後，小羊的心情總算平伏下來。現在重組案情吧。請看下圖：

    Picture

    (圖：模擬的案發現場)

    07年1月12日的清晨，小羊一時多手，不小心按下了「載入現選模版」的按鈕。嘩，這下可乖乖不得了。整個版面給毁掉了。小羊心臟狂跳不止，驚嚇過度，呆著了。急忙之間，不斷更換模板。(舊BLOG的CSS檔案不是沒有，在兩星期前剛壞掉的電腦裡。)可是嘛，到底該怎麼辦也不知道。就這樣過了一個上午。

    當我發狂般地更換模版時，Ken和Yan到這裡切磋。我一邊看著神秘的留言「xyz」(乜東東？)，一邊重整姿容。中午過後，心終於定下來。此時想起子木的最新版面設計(當然，我沒法像他那樣，把內文的背景fixed)。便一邊思考，一邊著手弄版面。

    Picture

    (圖：因子木使用了特別技巧，他的BLOG看起來像半透明。) 

    一天下來終於完成了，雖然還不太滿意 (因為我一直認為，白底黑字，大家才看得舒服)，但都算可以接受吧。要是大家看著還算ok，也不覺得眼澀，那麼未來數星期內，我大概都不需再作更動吧。http://mysinablog.com/a%20href= _uacct = “UA-904981-1″; urchinTracker(); http://mysinablog.com/a%20href=

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